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Smart Contracts for Grandma! Bitcoin Script Gets a Much-Needed Upgrade

Imagine Bitcoin as your grandma's dusty china cabinet – beautiful but locked tighter than a clam at high tide. That's Bitcoin script in a nutshell: secure, but about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Enter Rusty Russell, the crypto Robin Hood of Blockstream, here to break into grandma's cabinet and throw a digital tea party! This article explores the glorious absurdity of the "Great Bitcoin Script Restoration Project." Apparently, Bitcoin script was so busy worrying about security it forgot how to, well, script! Rusty wants to loosen the purse strings (or should we say, opcode restrictions) and let Bitcoin script do some cool party tricks. Imagine it: Bitcoin script, all hopped up on new features, finally figuring out what those "smart contracts" everyone's been raving about are. Will it be a financial revolution or a recipe for digital anarchy? Buckle up, crypto cowboys, because Bitcoin script is about to go from dusty doilies to DeFi disco ball. Just pray grandma doesn't find out!

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