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Microsoft Unveils Xbox Handheld—Because Who Doesn’t Need Another Portable Gaming Device?

So, you’re excited about Microsoft’s new Xbox handheld, huh? Because apparently, lugging around a full-sized gaming console was just too much for you. Microsoft, always looking out for the faint of heart, decided to give you a portable device that’s essentially a glorified Steam Deck knockoff. Yes, because what the world needed was yet another way to play the same old games on a smaller screen.


But here’s the kicker—this handheld runs on a version of Windows that’s supposedly optimized for gaming. Because, of course, you want all the joys of Windows updates and bugs while you're on the go. Forget about streamlined experiences; you’re now free to wrestle with driver updates and compatibility issues wherever you are. You’ve always dreamed of taking that frustration with you, right?


In the end, this is just another attempt to squeeze a few more bucks out of you while pretending to innovate. Microsoft wants you to believe you need this, just like you "needed" the last 10 devices they convinced you to buy. But hey, at least now you can carry your buyer’s remorse in your pocket.


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